Is it just me or does life tend to get scarier the older we get? I mean really. I’ve never thought of myself as a fearful person. Death is the one thing I can count on for sure and that gives me comfort. I’ve made peace with death. So what else could I be afraid of? That’s exactly what I want to find out. For the last two months, I’ve been feeling the fear and acting on it. Here’s what I’ve learned from confronting my fears…
FEAR IS NOT REAL
This is a recurring theme. One of the things that have been blocking my blessings are these perceived fears. What fear now represents to me is a lack of trust and faith in God. As I have grown spiritually, I’ve begun having chest pains. At first, I didn’t know what they meant, I’m young and healthy so I didn’t believe it was a health condition. But in true God fashion, I was presented with an answer in the work of Gary Zukaf who explains what the pain represented. Once I realized that I had physical pains in relation to fear, I was able to feel the pain and clear the energy and the negative thoughts.
I highly recommend that you listen to a few interviews with Gary Zucakv on YouTube. His most notable work is his book The Seat of the Soul: 25th Anniversary Edition with a Study Guide
Also: Interview with Tom Earl
WHAT HAPPENS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR
In the past two months, I’ve had a cluster of AWEEMAZING manifestations. Things that literally showed up in my life weeks or even days after asking for them. This is the power of faith and good vibrations. In the course of two months, I modeled in a friends clothing catalog (I’ve always wanted to be a model), I also modeled on LIVE television for this same friend. I was interviewed about my blog and mission on Tom Earl’s podcast (I’ve always dreamed of being interviewed about my passion and work). So what do these WINS have to do with FEAR?
These amazing things would not have happened if I hadn’t desired them without the blockages of self-doubt. These are examples of things that happen when you have a desire and faith. So what happens when you have a desire and doubts (fear) creep in? Well, if you move forward anyway, you more than likely will go through the experience and FAIL! Yep, failure is around the corner.
But bigger than the failure is the pain. So much pain! Ugh!! I hate it. And then after you cry it out, there comes the calm. You begin to piece together what went wrong. And after your mind settles, you may be surprised that you are still alive, still standing, and that God had your back all along. I recently interviewed for two separate positions at my current job. The interview processes were stressful and intense. I did not get either position. It HURT.
The pain came from knowing that I did all I could do to prepare and my current performance is great, and it still was NOT ENOUGH. From this experience, I learned that I need to believe in myself even when others don’t.
HOW TO KEEP GOING
After experiencing two pretty big failures, I felt dead and empty inside. All of my motivation and drive was zapped from my body. I’d given my all and for nothing. And now, I’m back to square one. For the first week afterward, I literally felt lost. What is my purpose? What is my next step? The answers haven’t come right away. But gradually, as I muster up my strength and energy I find that I am motivated to do some things.
If you just failed really big, realize that the pain from the perceived loss will eventually subside. Give yourself a few weeks to steady out your emotional state. And when you begin again, you will be stronger. I say this as someone currently going through this stage right now. It’s like being re-born. It’s not fun, but it’s the perfect opportunity to do some soul-searching. Prior to these failures, I’d been going steady on an increased workout regime, was flying high off of my previous wins, and then came crashing down painfully. The first three months of January have been like learning to ride a bike. And then just when I got the hang of it, I decided to pop a wheelie and landed flat on my ass
(excuse my language). Now I’m picking my ass up off the ground, tending to my wounds, and hopping back on the bike. But this time, I’m aiming for a steady cruise, I’m done with the stunts.
MY BIGGEST LESSON ABOUT SUCCESS AND FAILURE
You can’t control success. It will find you when you are ready. Even if you don’t think you are ready yet. Failure is inevitable, but it’s your ability to get back up and keep going (however long it takes you to get there). It’s ok to go slow after a failure. Afterall, your ego is probably heavily bruised and you may be lacking motivation or direction. But asking God or the universe to show you your next steps will help you find your way through the dark tunnel. And most importantly, stay steady. Winning can be so damn exhilarating. It makes you fly so high! But, if you can win humbly and return back down to earth sooner rather than later, you’ll be prepared for the next wave. In the future, my goal is to stay as indifferent as possible. To stay calm, collected, and controlled. Emotions can overwhelm you and blind you, but you have full control of their ability to do so. Win humbly and fail gracefully.
Did you recently fail at something or are you afraid to try something for fear of failure? How did you overcome the loss, and what ways are you hoping to succeed int he future? Comment below!
